


E-Postcards to Q

by AtoTheBean



Series: Ato's 007 Fest Fan Creations [14]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 05:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtoTheBean/pseuds/AtoTheBean
Summary: James doesn't really know why he's doing survival training in the Sierra high country, but days of hiking alone give a man time to think.  And that's always dangerous.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was backpacking the last week of Fest, and completely without my computer, wifi, or any of the things I was working on. So I wrote something new in the notes app on my phone. Even when we got to "civilization" on the 31st, I didn't have good enough wifi to post, and ended up emailing it to a Q Branch teammate (Thanks Lin!), and she posted it on Tumblr from the team account so it would get in within the deadline. I'm just now transferring it to AO3 and cleaning up the text a bit. It's completely epistolary... Just what it says on the tin...

Q,

I still don’t know why I’m here. Survival Wilderness Training in the US seems more a way to get me out of your hair than anything actually useful. The fact I’m with CIA agents might foster cooperation, but really, why do I need to know edible plants in the wilds of California, of all places?

Today I climbed 4500 feet of elevation with a 75 lb pack. After roughly 3000 feet, I thought perhaps you were trying to teach me a lesson. That I am too old or too soft to do this anymore. I admit, the altitude gave me some trouble after my months at sea level, and I’m the oldest taking the training by several years.

After 4000 feet, I thought perhaps you hate me now. I know the way I left — taking the car and the girl and leaving the destruction of Nine Eyes in my wake — didn’t make me many friends. Even the other double-ohs were a bit icy on my return. The Q Branch minions still don’t even acknowledge me when I enter the branch. I’m sure there was a lot of cleanup I missed, and I’m resented for it.

But then I got to the summit and saw this:

And now I don’t know what to think. Surely someone who hates me wouldn’t send me somewhere so spectacular.

I found this phone when I unpacked my tent. Sending me with contraband, Q? It says it has no service, but if I know you, you have it hooked up to our satellites so you can keep tabs on me. So I’ll send these messages like postcards, not expecting a response.

Bond


	2. Chapter 2

Q,

It’s amazing the CIA is functional at all with idiots like these making up the ranks. They are barely paying attention, instead bragging about their strength and how quickly they can hike. Something tells me there will be more to this than running with a pack.

The survival training reminds me of the Navy, but the edible plant training reminds me of walking the moors with Kincade as a boy. He was always showing me how to live off the land. I used to tease him that he was worried the English would invade again and cut off our supply of wheat like in the days of old. Come to think of it, he never denied that, merely said it was good for a man to be able to subsist on his own for a few days if necessary. It was hard to argue with, despite never really experiencing want during that portion of my childhood. Plus, he taught me to hunt, and you know how I like my guns.

No hunting on this trip, though. Strictly forbidden on the parklands. We apparently had to get special permission to dig up plants. I asked them where the pubs were on the map, but they didn’t seem amused.

Tonight is our it last day with a fire, so I’m making the most of it. We all head out on different trails tomorrow but I still plan to break camp early and get away from these people. They’re fine, and I promise I’m not causing any international incidents. They’ve decided I’m so quiet strictly because I’m British, and I’m not enlightening them to the fact that I can be practically verbose with other company. Well, perhaps not verbose. These postcards and lengthier than intended, though. I should probably delete them. Perhaps I will.

I’m turning in early with the excuse of jet lag. I’ve been waking before dawn anyway. I intend to use it to my advantage.

Bond


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Q,

I got out early as planned, before anyone else was stirring. I’m a bit stiff from yesterday, but an hour on the trail loosened me up. 

I’ve been thinking about strategy. Being first to make your destination gains you a certain number of points. That seems to be the strategy most of the others are taking. We are all carrying enough freeze-dried food that one could just hike long, fast days and use that and get in first. However, that’s not really using the survival training. That’s just backpacking. And the deduction for using the food goes up the more of it you use. Like baggage fees on airlines.

So I’ve decided to maximize my reliance on the plants they told me about, and use as little of the food they’ve sent with me as possible. And since I left before breakfast, the one instructor who was awake offered me one “free” food package. I chose a bag of jerky, which I can use over days to supplement my diet with protein. I’m not even hungry yet today. 

I have two mountain passes to summit on this trip. The first will likely be the day after tomorrow, and the more hiking I do today and tomorrow, the earlier and fresher I get to make that ascent. I also need to gather enough food in that time to get me started on summit day, since I hope to be high enough up the slope that many of these plants won’t be growing. I’ve rigged one of my gear bags to hang from my belt so I can forage as I hike. That’s a trick I learned from Kincade. I’ll have to remember to thank him.

Bond


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Q,

I spent much of yesterday collecting berries off the wrong plant, not realizing until I finally found the right one. They wouldn’t have killed me, but they would have made for a very uncomfortable hike. Fortunately, when I found the right ones, I found a lot of them. As well a plant I could eat the tuber from. So, my mistake won’t set me back too far. 

The tuber is disgusting raw. A bit like chewing on a tea-flavored raw potato. Come to think of it, you may enjoy it. It’s not as bad cooked, but I’m sure by day five I’ll truly despise it. I’m already imaging the meal I’ll have at the Savoy upon my return. 

No fire tonight. It’s cold, but not terrible. The stars are amazing. I haven’t seen the Milky Way this clearly since I was a boy. There are so many stars, it’s actually difficult to pick out the constellations I do know. I’ve found Saturn using the telescopic attachment you sent for my phone. I think Jupiter is supposed to rise early too, but I can’t find it. Perhaps another night.

Bond


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Q,

A-hah! So you are getting these! I awoke to find a new app on this phone. Stargazer. I’ll try it tonight.

I did my first summit this morning. There was still a bit of snow at the top. Now that I’m back in subalpine regions, I’m foraging as I hike again. It doesn’t take much concentration now that I have a better search image. 

Which means I have a lot of walking to do in complete solitude with nothing much to occupy my mind.

Perhaps you do hate me, after all.

Self-reflection has never been a strong suit of mine. I know this. In part, my childhood taught me that thinking too much about the past just led to pain. M’s philosophy that regret was unprofessional discouraged too much reflection, as well. After my foster brother was captured, I thought perhaps making a clean break would be good... Remove the necessity of thinking about it too much. I’ll take door number two, please. She said she loved me. When was I going to get that chance again?

Well, you can imagine how well that worked out.

And now you’ve sent me halfway around the world with nothing to do but think on my sins, to quote our friend Silva. And I don’t know exactly why I’ve chosen you as the receiver of my personal reflections. Certainly, I’ve already shared more in these postcards than I routinely do (at least on purpose) during psych exams. Maybe it’s because you have proven you have my back when I need you, consequences be damned. Maybe it’s because you’ve earned this glimpse into my psyche, considering all the shite I’ve given you over the years. Maybe it’s just because you gave me a phone, and no one else seems interested.

You’ll probably share all of this with psych. I can’t blame you. You are the Quartermaster, after all. On the other hand, I think you hate psych as much as I do.

Whatever made me think I could run off with a psychiatrist of all things?

James


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Q,

Sorry for rambling so much yesterday. I don’t really think you hate me.

I have to admit, it’s really beautiful here. There’s plenty of water in the creeks, and vegetation around them is lush, with more variety of things I’m allowed to eat.

In the high areas around between the creek, the vegetation completely shifts. Each habitat has its own wildflowers, tall and vibrant in the wetter areas, short and sparse in the dry areas. I only know what I’m allowed to eat, but now that I keep seeing the same flowers over and over, I find I’m curious. There are also butterflies everywhere. Not that I care about such things, but when you walk this much, anything that catches your eye can be of interest. It at least distracts me from more internal musings. 

Those have me regretting things after all.

I’ve decided to break early today and reorganize my pack before my last summit. Tomorrow will be my hardest day hiking, and I’m now sore and tired and nearly out of the jerky I’ve been relying on for protein. I may finally have to break into the freeze-dried food tomorrow, depending on what I find on the other side.

James

Ps. In taking apart the entire pack, I discovered the other bit of contraband: a small plastic bottle labeled “save for a celebration.” I think I’ll open it tomorrow, if all goes well.


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Q,

All did not go well. I’m fine, but the climb was perhaps the hardest thing I’ve done — physically and mentally — in a very long time. I’m used to using bursts of activity to accomplish mission goals. Quick decisions and rapid implementation followed by consequences and a bar. This sustained physical effort is draining and demoralizing.

I reached the top though, and all of that fell away. The view is amazing, as is the knowledge that it’s all (at least mostly) downhill from here. I decided to break into your plastic bottle once I’d had some water and caught my breath.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was whiskey. And a very nice one at that. I’d be more furious that you made me carry the extra weight if I weren’t so damned grateful for the drink. I’m saving half of it for tonight after dinner, while I put your stargazer app to work. And perhaps the one to help me identify the flowers I’ve been seeing.

Thank you, Q. It’s the first drink I’ve had in ages (another purpose of this trip was to dry me out, no doubt) and I took my time and savored it. Now I’m off to collect my dinner and find water for camp tonight. 

James


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Q,

This morning just after breakfast I heard a helicopter. It was jarring. The first sign I’ve had of civilization, other than this connection to you, since I began. 

Not that this connection is much. You only respond by adding apps. But I realize I’ve been depending on it, this thin little lifeline. Not unlike the smart blood that I knew allowed you to keep tabs on me. Having MI6 track me was always a bit invasive feeling, but never you personally. I always liked knowing you were watching over me and had my back.

I realize now you probably knew where I was the whole time I was retired. Were you tracking my health? Did you still have alarms that would sound if my heart suddenly stopped? Certainly, it wasn’t your job anymore. Would you have found that too invasive for a mere civilian?

Part of me assumes I abused you too much before leaving to maintain your interest. Part of me hopes you were watching over me from a distance.

The only reason I can think for a helicopter to be out here is search and rescue. I’m glad I’m not the one needing it, and hope whoever is the subject of the search has someone watching over them as carefully as I have you watching over me, and it’s not too late for them.

And I hope they deserve that person more than I’ve deserved you.

James


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Q,

I have seen more waterfalls on this trip than in the rest of my life combined. Nothing to that really. Just an observation.

I’m writing this before heading out from my last campsite. I should reach my destination by midday, if all goes well. Then I’ll be distracted by people and thoughts of hotels and showers and proper meals. Before that happens, I want to reach out to you like this one last time.

I’ve been thinking a lot, as you may have noticed. And I want to thank you. Once again, you seem to have known what I needed more than I did. I would have never chosen this, but I feel better than I have in ages. Well-rested, despite the physical exertion. Centered, despite being so far from home. And perhaps with some clarity of thought. I sat under the stars last night and pondered all the times you supported me, went out on a limb for me. And then I remembered your expression on the bridge that night as I turned to leave. And your expression when I came for the car. And I think I may have put together some things I was too dense to notice earlier.

And I may be too late. This may have to be one of those things I end up regretting because I was so busy running, I didn’t realize in time what was in front of me. But if that’s not the case… if I haven’t read things wrong or put them together too late, I have something to ask you.

When I return to London I plan to have the most decadent meal I can think of (well deserved, I might add). 

Would you join me, Q? Would you have dinner with me? I find that as much as I’ve thought of you on this trip, I miss your conversation. I imagine I’ll have it in my ear soon enough on some mission or other, but I’d like it sooner and in person, if you’re willing. This has been an adventure in self-awareness, among other things, and there are some realizations I’d like to share with you if you’re willing.

And now I’m going to head down this mountain with all my food stores intact and see where that gets me in points. I’m probably last… I find myself lingering to enjoy this peace a bit longer, despite my normal competitive nature and my desire for a shower and proper bed. Perhaps you’ll actually respond this time, and give me one last reason to make haste.

James


	10. Chapter 10

Dear James,

Yes.

Q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. All the pictures were taken with my phone during my trip. We have many more, much better ones taken with a camera. But since Bond didn't have that, I didn't use them.


End file.
